Eryn Allegra to son: You deserved a better mother
January 21st, 2009 by Ana X. Ceron
Tristan Allegra
Eryn Allegra
PORT ST. LUCIE — Eryn Allegra said she was sorry in all the letters she wrote to her son.
That’s what police say they found when they searched the Holiday Inn where 8-year-old Tristan Allegra was suffocated to death on Christmas morning.
“You’ll always be my sweet boy,” one letter read.
“You deserved a better mother,” said another.
People who know Allegra, 31, say she is someone who keeps to herself. Doesn’t like to share what she’s thinking. Polite but prefers to keep quiet.
With pen and paper, though, the words just seemed to flow out of her, according to court documents recently released.
Audio
Listen to her talk about her son’s death:
Allegra is now at the St. Lucie County jail, facing a second-degree murder charge in Tristan’s death.
She wrote to her son, her housemates and her lover, her half-cursive script trying to explain what was going on in her mind as she prepared for Christmas.
Her husband thinks she even wrote to him once while he was in jail, but pretended the words came from Tristan, his son.
The words seared: “I’m not going to forgive you until you can prove (you can stay) out of jail.”
Just hours after she called 911 (see below to hear the call) to report she had killed her son, Allegra told investigators her life began unraveling in August 2007.
She had lost a house she rented on Placid Avenue, a job at a day care center, “then everything,” she said.
Two months later, she and Tristan moved into a room at a friend’s house. Then she lost two other jobs — a newspaper delivery route and a baby sitting gig, she said.
She was having trouble paying her rent, Allegra said, and last October, her housemate asked her to pay up or move. The woman later told police she never intended to kick Allegra out of the house on Bowie Street.
Allegra said she was able to catch up on her payments after a temp agency found her work at Liberty Medical. But the pressure had overwhelmed her and her thoughts turned to suicide, she said.
Only she didn’t want to leave her son behind with his father, Allegra said. The couple had separated but never divorced after eight years. She didn’t want Michael Allegra to have custody of Tristan if she died, Allegra said.
But other problems were surfacing for Allegra around this time.
A man with whom she was having an affair broke off their relationship after one and a half years, she said.
“He decided that being friends with me would interfere with his family life,” Allegra said.
Also, she had been pregnant with his child but had lost the baby, Allegra said.
Although Allegra told police she was upset the relationship ended, she also said the man wasn’t the reason she hatched up the murder-suicide.
The man told investigators he broke off the affair in September, saying that Allegra had become violent and crazy, according to a police report.
“Every now and then she would make suicidal threats,” he told police.
In the package meant for him to open after her death, police found a diary where she had written him notes. She told him her plan wasn’t about revenge.
“I hope you understand,” she wrote. “I am just alone. Nowhere else to go. … People move on. I just can’t.”
Tags: Eryn Allegra, Holiday Inn, murrder, suffocate, suicide, Tristan Allegra
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January 21st, 2009 at 6:48 pm
i fell sorry for this woman… i can only imagine how alone she now feels in jail,soon to be prison… from the sounds of it,the child being with her was no picnic either… it is to bad she never seeked help for emotional problems… the help they have today can do wonders for people that feel like she felt… i am not sure if you get any kind of emotional help being in jail… i kind of dought it… i will say a prayer for her and her son…
January 21st, 2009 at 8:54 pm
If anything ever happened to my son there is nothing in this world that could keep me here. I would end it all, Because he is the purpose I am here. It’s not about me it’s about him and taking care of him. I would do anything and everything to support my son. So it’s a shame that she couldnt see past herself to save her son. He did deserve a better mother, but she was all he had. Maybe this will be a lesson to other mothers STOP BEING SELFISH, YOU MADE THE CHOICE TO BRING THE CHILD INTO THIS WORLD. Take care of them.
January 22nd, 2009 at 8:44 am
This tragic act of this mother and many other like it that are happening today should wake us up as a society. What has happened that families today have become so fractured and broken? These young women seem to think that takng a life is the only answer. Where are all the men today who continue to pursue ther lives leaving their women and children to struggle alone in poverty? Apparently this loser was incarcerated.Why not hold him responcible for ths crime as well? And the so called lover who used this girl when it was convenient and bailed when thngs got tough.
January 22nd, 2009 at 9:20 am
This story is so sad,this mother had alot of emotioal issues,where is this girls mother,her family her support! raising a child with out help is very hard,trying to juggle work and time to raise your child is difficult on your own.i am a mother of 3 young children and if a thought like this ever came to me.the first thing would do is tell someone.it is not healthy to keep suicidal thoughts to your self,just like we saw on this sad christmas day,you can act on your thoughts:(.so if you feel like you cant do it on your own PLEASE PLEASE call someone they have safe places every where,every walmart is a safe place.there is no questions asked you can not get arrested,give your child the life they deserve,after all they didn’t ask to be born..god bless this little angel.
January 22nd, 2009 at 9:56 am
I know she had problems, I too have had far worse problems in my life, but I don’t take a life because of my emotional distress. She actually committed murder and should pay for it. It saddens me that he’s dead and she is not. She should have taken the little boy to her friends or in law’s home and committed suicide if that is what she wanted, not murder this poor little boy. I’m sorry, you don’t take someone’s life because you are sad and alone. We all have problems and we all have been through tough and sad times, but you don’t murder, especially an innocent 8 year old child. He is so cute. At least now he is safe with God. Safe from someone who says she loves him, but it’s hard to find that when she murdered him and it was premedicated murder. It’s just too sad he’s gone and she’s still here. There are many people who would have gladly taken that little boy and loved him and cared for him. There was no excuse for this.
January 22nd, 2009 at 10:29 am
After reading this tragic article, my first thought was why didn’t she drop the baby off where he could have been safe even a Fire station or go to some agency, somewhere so a child would have a chance. My second thought was a feeling of pity for this person who probably came from an extremely dysfuntional family who like herself made many wrong choices and once we do that our life just spirals downward. And than my third thought was how selfish she was not to do the right thing for her baby. However, knowing a little bit of her history, she too was a victim of our lousy society. What a tragedy - my heart goes out first to that sweet little boy. Why in the world do women who made for themselves such difficult lives still bring children into this world. Can’t they see they need intensive help and to only have a baby intensifies their problems.
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Take her out back and shoot her. Another waste of a human being and tax dollars; just like Casey Anthony. I have no job, no money, no education, but I would NEVER harm my children. These freaks just want attention. Charge her with 1st degree murder and let her have a nice, paid-for life in prison without any financial responsabilities. What a joke.
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Whatever happened to taking responsibility for your own actions?
People need to start taking parenthood seriously and start using birth control. Kids need stability. They also need parents who can afford them and choose mates wisely.
When are people going to stop having children that they should NOT HAVE????????????
It is INCREDIBLY SELFISH to bring kids into this world when they can’t afford them and can’t even run their own lives!
January 23rd, 2009 at 2:47 pm
There are so many resources out there that people don’t utilize- churches, homeless shelters, adopt a family- this whole thing is very disturbing to so many people, the immediate family, the kids at school etc. I was a single mother of 2 for a while and I know how difficult it can be to raise children on your own- but you have to suck it up and stop being so selfish-Tristan did not ask to be here, his mother made the choice to keep him, so why take his life- To have a healthy child is a miracle - I know so many women who cannot conceive and they would be the BEST PARENTS and we have this lady who is taking this precious little boys life for granted???? I hope they don’t give her the death penalty because I want her to be alive and have to think about what she did for the rest of her life!
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
This whole situation is disgusting. People, if you can’t take care of your children, or you don’t want your children, keep your pants buttoned! Stop making excuses for this crazy POS. She deserves to rot in prison for the rest of her horrible, selfish life. The thing that really makes me sad is she’s not dead, and her innocent little boy is. What a crock. You are NOT going to Heaven, Miss Allegra. Count on that.